Starved: Book One by Anne McCoy

Author:Anne McCoy [McCoy, Anne]
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: Anne McCoy
Published: 2023-12-30T00:00:00+00:00

CHAPTER NINETEEN

The TV in the front room went silent. “Lil, is that you?”

The floor creaked from the living room and. Lily zipped up the pack.

“I thought you were heading off to bed.” Mom poked her head into the entryway.

“I am.” Lily shoved her hands into her pockets, letter and all squishing in her palm.

“Whose bag is that?” Mom asked. “It doesn’t look like one of ours.”

“Ethan left it. I put it by the door for him.”

Lily slid her hands in her pockets and clutched the letter. The paper crunched around her fist. Her CGM alarmed a downward stream of notes.

“High or low?” Mom asked.

“Low,” she said. “I think I bolused too much for dinner.”

“Let’s get you something to eat.” Mom’s voice was anxious, and Lily knew there was no getting rid of her until her blood sugar was back in range. She sniffed and blinked away the tears that had no social awareness.

“Okay.” She took one last glance at the bag and swallowed hard before following her mom to the kitchen.

***

Exhausted, Lily plopped on the edge of her bed. Her legs dangled as she resisted the urge to look at the letter.

She pulled her feet onto the bed and stretched her purple comforter around her waist. With a sigh, she gave in and yanked it free from her pocket. She unfolded the crinkled page and smoothed it over her lap and sighed. Ethan’s handwriting was perfection.

She wiggled her cold toes deeper into her comforter before she allowed her eyes to absorb the black ink scrawled atop the wrinkled page.

Dear Tsvetok,

I’ve wanted to say this to you for so long but have been scared of how you’d respond. I guess that’s why I wrote it. Maybe I won’t have to see your response, and that makes this easier. Or, maybe writing it will give me the courage to tell you in person. I’m not sure yet.

So, what am I so afraid to tell you? It’s simple: you’re amazing—the most amazing girl I’ve ever met. Our world is scary and dark, and hope is the last thing I should feel, but when you’re near, it’s my first and last thought.

I hope she looks at me.

I hope she smiles.

I hope she talks to me.

Everything you do and are makes me think things have to get better. It makes me want to make it better… for you.

Lily closed her eyes. It was harder to read than she thought, not because it wasn’t to her, but because it was giving her greater insight into who Ethan was.

She opened her eyes and read on.

I could easily fill pages about your looks—your hair, eyes, and smile. I could talk for days about the way your eyebrows scrunch up when you're confused or angry, or how you move around school like no one is watching when most everyone is. But your looks are only the beginning. You’re so much more than beautiful. Your laugh is like a thousand tiny music boxes jumbled together in the most perfect symphony—a sound I could pick out from anywhere, a tone that will forever make me pause and look for you.

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